Conflict issue: Vacationing as a couple with different interests

Some people want peace and quiet, while others crave action while on vacation – How do you balance that in a relationship? Not at all? Relationship therapist Dr. Ursina Brun del Re suggests in the NZZ that some couples are better off traveling separately. But there are also (sustainable) lodges where your couple vacation will be in good hands, despite your different interests.

In the beginning: “We are a package deal”

When a relationship is new, couples often do everything together while on vacation. Many think that’s the way it has to be. Or they’re so in love that it doesn’t even occur to them to do anything separately.

The romantic hotel Das Rübezahl in Füssen in the Allg?u can confirm this. “We specialize in couples,” the host family tells us, adding: “As a rule, all couples do everything together.” On our last visit, we learned that a marriage proposal happens almost every week! It’s no wonder that most of the couples there are practically inseparable.

Traveling with different preferences

This changes over time. At least for some couples I know (and I have been married for 16 years now). You get to know each other better, accept different preferences and views, trust each other more, and maybe are just a little bit more honest. You may have started out watching the Olympics together, but four years later you admit that you’re not really interested in that and would rather do something else. It can be the same with vacations. The important thing is that you don’t see it as a problem, but as an opportunity for each part of the relationship to maintain its own character.

A partnership is about giving and receiving

In a partnership, there is time to spend together, time when one person does something just for the other, and time for oneself. Children, work, and other people come into the relationship, and successful couples come to terms and find their way. In everyday life and on vacation. (Not that I’m always that successful, but I’m just saying that in general )

These accommodations frequently host pairs with different interests

1 Hotel Weihrerhof, South Tyrol – He can go hiking, she takes a sunbath on the lake

“We often have couples with different interests at the hotel,” says Klaus Pichler of Hotel Weihrerhof in South Tyrol. The family-run boutique hotel is located 1,200 meters above sea level on the shores of Lake Wolfsgruben, amidst the mountain panorama of the Ritten.

“ The man is usually the more active and goes hiking, biking, etc. The wife enjoys the stay at the Weihrerhof with short walks along the lake, on the sunbathing lawn or in the SeaSpa with unique treatments.” – Hotel Weihrerhof

2 My Arbor near Bressanone/Brixen in South Tyrol – Individual time management

From wellness and outdoor adventures to sports and relaxation, we offer a wide range of options to meet a variety of needs.– My Arbor

My Arbor is a luxurious adults-only hotel nestled in the treetops with fantastic views of the Dolomites. Each week there is a varied program of guided hikes (skiing in winter), spa treatments, forest bathing, etc. to choose from.

3 Hotel Bella Vista Zermatt – Couples have a lot to talk about in the evening

Hotel Bella Vista is “definitely ideal” for couples with different preferences, says host Fabienne Anthamatten. Her family’s hotel in car-free Zermatt has a beautiful terrace with a fantastic view of the Swiss icon, the Matterhorn. Couples sit here in the evenings (or in the cozy lobby by the fire in winter) and talk about their day. One of them has usually been on an outdoor adventure which starts right outside the front door, while the other has been relaxing in the adults-only spa or exploring Zermatt.

4 CERVO Moutain Resort Zermatt – A resort with a lot of possibilities

Also in Zermatt is the CERVO Mountain Resort, which consists of several wooden buildings. There are three restaurants, a spa area, a gym, a climbing wall… and the Alps, glaciers and Zermatt village shops are just outside the door.

One person can ski during the day and the other can spend a day at the spa. In the evening, you can have dinner or après-ski together. – CERVO Mountain Resort

5 Summit Lodges Pfunds, Tyrol – One goes skiing, the other goes snowshoeing

Interestingly, at the Summit Lodges Pfunds vacation houses, it is also very common for couples to plan their excursion program separately, says owner Marco Spiss. Pfunds is a quiet and traditional community in Tyrol, perfect for a nature vacation with all the freedom you need.

It is often the case that one partner is on the slopes (Serfaus, Ischgl, Nauders) and the other prefers snowshoeing or simply walking on the many hiking trails in the area (especially the Tschey in Pfunds)” – Marco Spiss, Summit Lodges Pfunds

But the sustainable accommodation also offers plenty of opportunities for togetherness, such as a private sauna and an open fireplace that is stocked with firewood when you arrive.

6 Hotel Klosterbr?u, Tirol – Two activity guides to choose from

If you prefer to stay in a hotel in Tyrol, the Hotel Klosterbr?u in Seefeld is a good choice in the region.

“[Holidays with different interests] are definitely possible with us, as our two activity guides Clemens and Thomas plan on different levels. This means that if the woman (or man) wants to climb a via ferrata and the man (or woman) prefers a morning walk, there is something for everyone.” – Hotel Klosterbrau

The hotel is also ideal if you want to take your children with you. There is the hotel’s own petting zoo “Siggis Sauhaufen” and child care nearby. There is also a large spa area – something for everyone.

7 Biohotel Grafenast, Tyrol – Nature vacation – also with children

The Biohotel Grafenast in Pill is another hotel where you can enjoy a great vacation together as a couple or with your children and where there are different options for everyone. It is located high above the Tyrolean Inn Valley and has a fantastic view of the valley. Some of the 23 rooms are equipped as family rooms and depending on the season there is a special program for the children.

We are a great place to combine different interests“ – Biohotel Grafenast

8 Naturhotel Outside, East Tyrol – Combined vacation in the Alpine National Park

“So, how was your day, darling?”

Our partner, the Naturhotel Outside in the Hohe Tauern National Park in East Tyrol, suggests several possible “combos” for you:

1. Outdoor sports and wellness (a new nature SPA with heated outdoor pool and a Deferegger healing water pool will open at the end of December 2024)
2. Hohe Tauern National Park and gourmet vacation (the hotel’s restaurant has 3 Falstaff forks)
3. Relaxation and shopping in Lienz

9 Hotel Luise, Erlangen – Sustainable city vacation in Bavaria

For a sustainable vacation in Germany, there are also some sustainable hotels where you are in good hands as joint individual travelers. For example, the Hotel Luise in Erlangen:

Erlangen is ideally located for travelers with a variety of interests. You can take a city vacation or head out into nature – no matter which adventure you choose, you can relax in our spa after an exciting day.” – Hotel Luise

City vacation: The hotel is centrally located in Erlangen and Nuremberg, Fürth, Bamberg, Lauf a. d. Pegnitz are nearby and easily accessible by train.

Culture: Erlangen has a lot to offer culture lovers. The ComicSalon Erlangen takes place every two years and the Poet*innen Fest takes place every year. Nuremberg offers the Imperial Castle, the German Museum and other cultural highlights.

Nature: If you prefer to be outdoors, explore Franconian Switzerland (where you can climb, swim, hike, bike, explore caves, and more) – you can even bike right from the hotel to the Tennenloher Forest Nature Reserve. There are wild horses, goats, sand dunes, moors and more to discover.

10 Birkenhof* Spa & Wellness, Upper Palatinate – Enjoy sustainable luxury

Looking for something more luxurious? Then there is a truly exceptional gourmet hotel for sports, wellness and culinary enthusiasts on a hill in the Opferpf?lzer Seenland. The 5-star Hotel Birkenhof is committed to renewable energy and e-mobility at the highest level. Speaking of high standards: It is also home to the 2-star restaurant Obendorfers Eisvogel”.

We are very good at catering to different interests. We have a wellness and relaxation offer and we are a hotel in the middle of nature with hiking possibilities, water skiing in the lake area, golf and cycling.” – Lukas Obendorfer, Birkenhof* Spa & Genussresort

11 Klosterhof – Alpine Hideaway & Spa, Berchtesgadener Land – For couples who not only want different activities, but also different menus

At Hotel Klosterhof – Alpine Hideway & Spa, couples often order different meals, according to the host family. A popular variation is when one person is vegan and the other is not. In this case, there is an all vegetable “Kraut und Rüben” menu every evening.

There are often babymoon guests at the health hotel. Here the pregnant woman can participate in a special program while the father-to-be can do other things. In the evening you can enjoy the famous Barbarossa Mocktails together – each to your own taste.

12 Naturresort Gerbehof, Lake Constance Region – Sporty nature vacation

Naturresort Gerbehof is the perfect place for you if you want to be surrounded by a natural, organic atmosphere. The sustainable hotel is located amidst the famous orchards of the Lake Constance region and is especially beautiful during the blossoming and apple harvest season.

We have opportunities for wellness, hiking, biking, sailing and surfing.” – Naturresort Gerbehof

13 Lifestylehotel SAND – Vacation at the Baltic Sea

“ We are currently experiencing a huge increase in demand for offers for couples,” says Marion Muller, hostess of the Lifestylehotel SAND in Timmendorfer Strand. We described what such a weekend for two could look like in our blog article Baltic Sea for two.

The Adults Only Hotel offers several specials for couples. It is not necessary to do everything together with your partner. In this case, the hostess recommends the combination of the two offers “SANDromance” and “SANDstarnight”. This means ” Feel Good” for one and ” Outdoor Experience ” for the other.

14 STURM in Mellrichstadt – Adventure and relaxation

At the sustainable Hotel STURM in Mellrichstadt in the Biosphere Reserve Rh?n, most couples with different interests combine “adventure” and “relaxation”. Each partner can plan their day as they wish – one can go on an adventure tour and explore the surrounding forests, moors and caves, while the other relaxes with sauna sessions and massages.

Perfect balance: each partner organizes the day according to his or her own wishes. End the day together with a delicious organic menu in the restaurant, followed by a drink in the lounge or in front of the fireplace.“ – STURM

Holidays for couples with different interests in Thailand, Italy, France and Nepal

15 Keemala Villas Wonderland on Phuket – Everyone is allowed dream

Our partner, Keemala, on the Thai island of Phuket, has just been named “Best Resort in Thailand” and “One of the Best Hotels in the World” by the One Step 4Ward blog – after travel blogger Johnny Ward spent 18 years traveling the world.

He was there with his wife and they did everything together (yes, he just got married in 2021 – so it’s still fresh :-)). They even had their booked spa treatments moved to the same room. But you can also experience something on your own as a couple.

“Keemala caters to the needs of couples with different interests with our wellness and outdoor adventure themes.” – Keemala

Wellness: Spa treatments, yoga, wellness classes and mediation sessions

Culinary delights: Indulge in nutritious and wellness-oriented cuisine

Outdoor Adventure: Explore the rainforest and local wildlife on guided eco-tours. There are trails for all levels.

Water activities: Kayaking and Snorkeling

16 Holidays at the Albergo Diffuso Relais del Maro in Liguria

Vacations in the picturesque Ligurian village of Borgomaro

How about the idyllic setting of a Ligurian village for your vacation? Borgomaro, in the hinterland of the coastal city of Imperia, is home to the Relais del Maro – an Albergo Diffuso spread over several houses in the village.

In the morning one person goes to the pool while the other sleeps in – later one person walks through the olive groves and tastes the famous Taggiasca olives while the other hires an e-bike from the reception to cycle along the coast. In the evening you will meet again for dinner and end your day with good food and good conversation.

17 Couple vacation at the Green Spirit Hotels in Paris

This small boutique hotel is centrally located in Paris and is a real insider tip.

If you are looking for an eco-friendly and personalized place to stay in Paris, we recommend Green Spirit Hotels: Le Pavillon, Hotel Malar and Hotel Amélie – all located in the lively 7th arrondissement and within walking distance of the Eiffel Tower, the Seine and other major attractions.

Because the Green Spirit eco-hotels are very small, you can’t do many things separately in the hotels themselves, says host Barbara Tascijevic with a laugh. But in the city of Paris, this is a matter of course!

18 The Pavilions Himalaya – The Farm, Nepal – Safari and Yoga

Last but not least, The Pavilions Himalayas – The Farm Hotel also told us that couples with different interests are very welcome. The sustainable resort in the foothills of the Himalayas runs its own organic farm, helps farmers convert to certified organic farming, and donates a full 70 percent of its income to the local Right4Children project.

There are eco-tours to explore Nepal’s stunning nature, cultural temples and festivals, and safari tours. Alternatively, one of you could lounge by the pool at the resort or practice yoga with the local yoga guru.

As you can see, there are many ways to combine different vacation desires in one place. That way, you can both get your money’s worth and still spend your vacation together. Of course, going separately is also an option, but our interests at home aren’t that far apart, at least .

What are your experiences? Would you like to do something on your own on vacation? Or have you maybe already been doing it for a long time? We look forward to your comments.